What to Do When Your Client Won't Listen to You (And Other Imposter Syndrome Feels)
Episode 660: Show Notes
All of us, as service providers, need to be reminded of the importance of gauging whether we are, perhaps subconsciously, tying our personal identity and self-worth to what we bring to the table for our clients. There have been some conversations popping up recently in which very successful service providers have been wondering why certain clients are not listening to their every word or taking their professional advice. They are made to feel both frustrated and insecure, as they recognize the clients aren’t going to see the results they’re able to procure for them, simply because they refuse to adhere to the strategy. We, personally, are not immune to these thoughts, and today, we want to share our personal experience and some exercises to help you dispel imposter syndrome and communicate clearly and calmly with clients who won’t hear you out. It’s time to actively separate your self-worth from your work and quit taking on your clients’ “emergencies”!
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Is Your Self-Worth Tied To Your Clients’ Success?
In the beginning, service providers are so eager to do a good job and their clients’ success as a result of their work builds confidence. The problem with that is, although it is ultimately building your confidence, most service providers start to intertwine their personal identity and self-worth into their work product, and the moment it starts to awry, they literally have a breakdown! Believe us, we’ve been there.
Identifying Imposter Syndrome
We recently had a conversation with a client who was feeling overwhelmed as her business started growing and she was landing new clients, as she likes the strategy portion but not so much the implementation. As your service-based business grows, it’s normal to pull away from some of the implementation and hire others to carry out the delivery. In this case, however, our client had the time and the skills to implement, but imposter syndrome was holding her back! There is often a lot of fear in implementation because, if it fails for the client, does that mean you’re bad at what you do?
Separating Your Self-Worth From Your Work
Regardless of the stage of business you’re in or how many clients you’ve had, if you don’t start separating your personal identity and self-worth from the work that you do, you’re going to end up in a scenario where a client doesn’t take your advice, and you’re going to lose it! Clients aren’t always going to hit your deadlines in time, which affects your work and can be wildly frustrating, but you can’t control it! It’ll cost them more because it takes longer, but it’s by no means a reflection on you. You are distinctly worthy just by being and your client's choice not to listen to you does not inform your self-worth. Learning to let these things go takes practice and you have to be willing to work on yourself outside of work. Just keep telling yourself this truth until you’ve tricked yourself into believing it.
Reframing Criticism
Could it be that the very thing you’re criticized for is, in fact, your superpower? We recently stumbled upon an argument that, as a creator, the aspects of your creations that receive negative feedback are the very things you should be leaning into. Most people stop putting their work out there when they start getting negative feedback, but let this be a lesson that criticism doesn’t determine your worth as a human or a creator. In fact, it may actually be an opportunity for you to discover your most unique quality!
How To Communicate With Clients Who Won’t Listen to You
If you’ve spent your life being a people pleaser, chances are, you’ve mostly been liked. Thus it can feel mighty uncomfortable when a client pokes back! When someone says something, it generally has more to do with them than it has to do with you, so it’s your job to practice being less reactive and more inquisitive. Coming from a place of understanding diffuses the situation.
“I” messages are another great strategy. Talk about how you feel, not how the other person is making you feel. Our emotions are not a result of other people’s actions and we have control over what we feel in any given situation. Another poignant tip: don't write emails when you're frustrated! And if your client is projecting frustration onto you, you can diffuse the situation by acknowledging their feelings and setting clear boundaries. We can’t always bend over backwards for clients, take on their emotions, and turn things into unnecessary emergencies. Not only do we need to separate our self-worth from our work, but from our clients’ responses, too!
Quote This
You are distinctly worthy just by being. You don’t have to earn it or ‘deserve’ anything. You can simply be and that’s enough.
Highlights
Is Your Self-Worth Tied To Your Clients’ Success? [0:09:06]
Identifying Imposter Syndrome [0:10:48]
Separating Your Self-Worth From Your Work [0:13:00]
Reframing Criticism [0:19:58]
How To Communicate With Clients Who Won’t Listen to You [0:22:26]
On Today’s Show
Abagail & Emylee
The Strategy Hour Podcast
We help overwhelmed and creative entrepreneurs break down their Oprah-sized dreams to create a functioning command center to tame the chaos of their business. Basically, we think you’re totally bomb diggity, we’re about to uplevel the shiz out of your business.
Key Topics
Personal identity, Self-worth, Communicating with clients, Service-based business, Imposter Syndrome
