What Happens When You Don’t Want to Perform Anymore?
Episode 953: Show Notes
There’s so much pressure online to stay relevant, to constantly provide value, to always be on. But what happens when you don’t want to perform anymore, when peace starts to feel more urgent than praise? I’m learning how to show up as myself, without the mask, without the metrics, without pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m not hiding, I’m in transition! And I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
I believe in building a business that fits you, not one that’s been handed down like a rulebook written by someone else. If you’ve built any kind of online business in the past few years, you’ve probably been told, directly or indirectly, that visibility equals value. But lately, I’ve been asking: What if I don’t follow those rules? Who made them up in the first place? This episode is for the version of you that’s tired. The one that keeps wanting to slow down but feels like you’re supposed to keep up. I know you still want success, but on your own terms. So let’s talk about it!
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How Performing Happens
When I say I don’t want to perform anymore, I don’t mean I was being fake. Performing often starts with good intentions, wanting to connect and build trust. But over time, it turns into a role you feel stuck in. You show up on autopilot, even when you're empty. You create out of obligation, not inspiration. And eventually, you lose sight of what you even want to say, because it’s all shaped by what the algorithm wants to hear. The version of you that started this business has evolved, but you're still performing for an audience expecting the old you. That disconnect is exhausting.
Untangling Your Personality From Your Business
If your business was built on your personality, it’s really hard to untangle your personal identity from what your business is putting out into the world. But I don’t think the weight you’re feeling is because you’re front and center. It’s coming from feeling like you have to show up as someone who isn’t you. It’s like going to a dinner party and pretending you’re having a great time when you’re actually exhausted. And yes, sometimes you do have to fake it. Society kind of expects that. But there’s also a point where being too real can backfire, and people start to think you’ve lost it.
When Peace Becomes More Important Than Praise
I really believe most of us aren't performing with bad intentions. You're not trying to trick anyone. You're just trying to be who you think people want you to be. You’re looking for validation, and that makes sense. It feels like proof that your work matters! But when praise becomes the goal, you start chasing approval instead of alignment.
The shift for me was realizing I didn’t want praise if it meant losing peace. Praise might feel good in the moment, but it can’t give you clarity, rest, true joy, or the space to grow. Peace started to matter more than being seen. Choosing peace means showing up differently. It means sharing when it feels right, and letting go of the pressure to document every step just to stay visible. Stepping back can feel risky, but it’s not as scary as it seems!
What Really Happens When You Stop Performing
So what actually happens when you choose to step back? Yes, there are real consequences to showing up differently, and the fear is real. You’ll hear that voice whispering, What if they forget about me? What if my business falls apart? We've all had those thoughts. But what really happens? You find your voice again! You create with more clarity and reconnect to your why. The people who matter stick around. Your business might slow down, but it won’t collapse. You build trust by being real, not relentless. Letting go isn’t giving up. It’s making space for support, inspiration, and what you actually need!
How to Stop Performing and Start Thriving
What I care about is you. I want your business to grow. I want you to feel secure and thrive. You get to choose how you show up, but is all the effort really necessary, or is it just more noise?
I’m not afraid to be loud (I love to talk, and I have opinions), but if what I’m saying doesn’t move someone or lead to real impact, it just becomes static. You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to be quieter. You can stop performing for an audience that might not even be watching. When peace starts to matter more than praise, everything changes! Ask yourself, what would you stop doing if you weren’t trying so hard to be seen?
It’s easy to believe more visibility will fix everything. And yes, it can help. But if you stopped chasing what is shareable and started creating what feels good and true, your work would likely connect more deeply. You can still build a thriving business without pretending to be someone you're not!
Quote This
The person you were when you started this business is not the same as the person you are today.
Highlights
How Performing Happens [0:03:32]
Untangling Your Personality From Your Business [0:07:41]
When Peace Becomes More Important Than Praise [0:11:36]
What Really Happens When You Stop Performing [0:15:45]
How to Stop Performing and Start Thriving [0:23:21]
Key Topics:
Performing, Social Media, Authenticity, Praise, Peace
